As I write this, California is in the midst of a heatwave unlike anything Iâve seen in ages. Actually, it may be unlike anything Iâve seen in this neck of the woods, period! Thankfully, the humid weather is the result of a tropical storm, so although everyone is complaining (remember, weâre the folks who like our heat dry, thank you very much!) we are also thrilled to have raindrops keep falling on our heads (and lawns). Iâm sure, in no time flat, weâll be complaining again because we need more rain.
While I was squawking about this to a friend who lives in another part of the country, she casually said I should turn on my air conditioner. Shut the front door! No, really, shut the front door â youâre letting all of the cool air out.
Seriously? Do people in other parts of this great country of ours not realize that for the most part, we cool Californians usually donât need air conditioning? Granted, there are rare exceptions. People living in the desert most certainly need and use air conditioning much of the year. Of course, the rest of us think anyone living in the desert needs his or her head examined â and Iâm fairly certain they feel the same way about the rest of us.
This is my first full-on summer minus breasts, so Iâm experiencing it on a whole new level. I have to admit, there is an upside to no longer having my double Ds when itâs this hot and humid. I no longer have to put corn starch or talcum powder under them in an attempt to stay a bit dryer and cooler. And, as anyone who has done this knows, not only doesnât this work very well, it quite often just adds insult to injury.
My laundry list of the upside of being topless doesnât end there. When I go to the beach, I donât have to dig two holes in the sand so I can lie on my stomach. Of course, without two breasts to camouflage said stomach, Iâm thinking maybe I should be digging a hole for it!
Additionally, I donât have to deal with that unpleasant sensation that accompanies sweat trickling down my cleavage. So, although I do miss cleavage, I had no idea its absence could actually present at least one perk!
And, although I love my Amoena breast forms (which are both cool and cool) I have to admit there is nothing that feels quite as good as coming home after a long, hot day â kicking off my shoes â and taking off my breasts. Ahhhh, itâs the simple things!
And speaking of simple things (that would be me), itâs taken me nearly a year to remember that unlike my weightless bra of days gone by â now, when I take off my mastectomy bra itâs important to hold on tight, unless I want my breasts on the floor. This is one of those things no one ever thinks to warn you about, and itâs certainly not something most of us would even contemplate (until it happens)! Itâs fair to say, I will be thrilled when I graduate to Contact forms.
And being “topless” does have its funny moments! I noticed a sort of panicked, deer-in-the-headlights expression on a co-workerâs face recently, after I announced that I have been having trouble getting my top up and down. They didnât realize I was talking about the top to my convertible.
So, although Iâm still a newbie when it comes to the ins and outs of my new normal, I have to say that unless I am being force-fed Victoriaâs Secret commercials, I donât spend much time missing my breasts. Sure, if they could have been healthy, I would have loved to let them hang (yes, there was that) around much longer â but that was not an option.
Since their departure, Iâve let my hair grow out again so Iâd feel a bit more feminine. This may be foolish, or vain â Iâm not sure â but it helps me feel a bit more like my old self. I realized recently that, on some level, Iâd kept my hair short all these years just in case I had to go through chemo again. Now, this long haired damsel is no longer in distress and can say with great gusto: be gone, breast cancer!
At the moment, Iâm trying an experiment. Iâve put a bottle of white wine and my breast forms in the refrigerator. Once theyâve cooled a bit, Iâm going to put on my forms, drink the wine â and really chill out. My biggest challenge will be to remember not to drop them on the floor when Iâm done.
amoena breast forms